All material on this site is copyright (c) Ian David Barker
1990-2008

The verses in this section were created for and broadcast on the fabulous Martin Kelner breakfast show. Until 1999 this was heard each weekday morning in the North West of England on Jazz FM (now Smooth FM)

The first of these are the winners of a competition inspired by the appointment of a resident poet at Marks & Spencer in November 1997:

Come to Marks & Spencer while the flame of passion flickers,
You can buy a brand new vest, or even brand new knickers
But when the fire is over and you give your love the sack,
Don't worry 'bout your undies you can always bring 'em back.

Come to Marks & Spencer while the flame of passion flickers,
The prices of our items are all clearly marked with stickers,
If it's quality you're after you'll find it down our aisle.
When you get into our underwear you're bound to raise a smile!

A second pair of winners (Ooh Err Missus!) From March 1998 on the subject of Mr Spock.

To use spock as a theme for a poet,
The creative seed is to sow it!
It takes little time,
'Cos the obvious rhyme
Is it's verse Jim but not as we know it.

A logical alien named Spock,
Found a life form within an old sock.
Saw it waving a banner
On his long-range scanner,
It gave him a bit of a shock.

Jazz 2

Jazz 3